Thursday, December 30, 2010

twentyten

it's really bad timing to be sick now but there's nothing i can do about it. i feel the trickles of a sore throat coming and my nose is already giving way to a full out flu. soon. unless i have like 1000 x infinity intakes of vitamin C now. but that would just make things worst, wont it?so what's a soon to be sick girl to do on the eve of a public holiday (way to go Harimau Malaysia yea yea yea) and NYE? i reminisce of the year that is soon to be called the year that was. 2010 has been a test of many a things. i feel like i've been riding the highs and drowning in the lows. and to be standing at this point and staring at the view before me, 2010 has certainly made me grow a lil' wiser and definitely more 'tahan lasak'! if i can go through the worst days of my life and then make a 180 degree turn from that, i say 2010 has been crazy. if i cried more tears than the last five years combined, i say bring on the tissues. fyi, i think crying frees the soul. so if there's anger or sadness cry it out, sister! or brother (men today are so different from the generation before us).

in no particular order, here are some of the highlights of my 2010;

#1
graduation! this was one of the best days of my life!

#2
lips turning 21. the highlight was the after-party! i will say no more.

#3
chinese new year!
#4
first family holiday of the year

#5
turning a year older...
#6
random shenanigans



#7
london for the very first time!


#8
appreciating modern art


#9
discovering that we are modern artists in the making! all those pictures taken in the toilet mirror has not been in vain.

#10
according to Jman, i had a miley cyrus moment but i dont care. it was the highlight of my trip hands down ;D


#11
discovering stroopwaffles for the first time!

#12
the famous duckrice experience after 2 failed attempts.

#13
in the midst of the world cup fever, i visited Liverpool.



so that's some of the highlights of my 2010.

happy 2011, folks!

Friday, December 24, 2010

last Xmas i gave you my heart

i think the more you want something, the harder it is to get it. and then you wait. patiently, impatiently is a whole other matter but you wait. and when it's within grasp, you reach out your hand. touch it and pull your hand back like you would touching a hot pot sitting on a stove. just a touch and you begin to rethink the entire situation. but you want more cos that slight touch has ignited and stirred this hidden desire. suddenly i'm trying to find ways to keep trying to catch this enigma. i sit here and think about it when i should really be doing something about it.

really, i just want somebody to loveeeeeeeee...justin beiber tells me so all the time.


Thursday, December 23, 2010

it's a promise.

cast your burdens on Me and I will look after you (Psalm 55:22)




Saturday, December 04, 2010

i'm lovin' it

good news should come in a happy package but somehow, this doesnt exactly warrant one. plus, it coming earlier than it should makes it even the more exciting. but it's an emotional blackhole. try as i might to make myself LIKE the work that i'm doing and i do that pretty often whenever i'm alone. i tell myself, 'hey, this isn't so bad, eh?' or 'i'm already doing it anyways, i can do it for a longer term, eh?' fuck this shit. it's the road to denial, innit? but self motivation is there so i guess credits got to be given, no?

want to know what i really wish for? that life doesn't have to go a certain way. i know there are no rules when it comes to livin' the life i want to live but i put myself there anyways. there are steps and measures to be taken that was set up a long long time ago which have been followed through by many and i think i've pretty much aced those steps so why aren't i happy? right now, i earn enough to buy the things that i want (within budget of course which really isnt that much in the first place, eh?) and yet, that really isn't enough to keep me afloat. try as i may, my arms are getting tired and numb from all that treading to keep afloat. throw me a life buoy right now.

i know of friends who have found their happiness in life. and they succeeded in their first try and here i am suffocating.

truth be told, half the time i honestly don't know what i'm doing. when i say i go with the flow, i literally go with the flow. and i'm hoping the flow will take me to boogie town where i can whip my hair back and forth and just be...happy.