'lost and insecure
you found me'
that's my word/phrase for the task at hand.
writing experiments is...interesting. i don't have to churn out a narrative but that doesn't mean it's any easier. looking forward to honing my writing skills.
and my other class requires me to write a project diary, detailing the trials and tribulations of how to handle group work and conceptualizing a short film/feature film and coming up with a storyboard.
another class rewards me marks for setting up a twitter, delicious , flickr and youtube account.
and finally, i have this one class where i watch movies and then throw all sorts of theories at it.
this is it, my final semester. the final leg of the pre-race. once this is over, the race will finally begin.
this is it.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
first week of a brand new semester just went by. by the looks of things, this semester will fly by and before i know it, i'll be graduating and thrust into the dog-eat-dog world of the working world. joy.
yet, before my 13 weeks go by in a flash, i'm still in a dilemma. there is this one subject which i'm taking which i'm not really sure of. whether i should continue with it or drop it and take something else. what to do what to do?
sigh.
after overloading last sem, this sem seems freer somehow. maybe because looking at my timetable, i don't see 5 lecture slots and 5 tutorials slots. trust me, you might think adding an additional subject may not look like alot but it IS. very exhausting. which is why i'm planning to enjoy my last sem. the very last sem of my undergraduate years. whoa. it feels surreal saying it. i don't think it has actually sunk in yet.
yet, i'm not phased by it. i don't feel any fears of what's gonna happen in the future. i know that through Him i can do everything :) i'll take it one step at a time (jordin sparks, date unknown wtf)
ohh..if all goes well today, i might just end up with a very nice piece of canggihness *fingers crossed*
i just finished watching ugly betty and omg i want her job and her boyfriend.
yet, before my 13 weeks go by in a flash, i'm still in a dilemma. there is this one subject which i'm taking which i'm not really sure of. whether i should continue with it or drop it and take something else. what to do what to do?
sigh.
after overloading last sem, this sem seems freer somehow. maybe because looking at my timetable, i don't see 5 lecture slots and 5 tutorials slots. trust me, you might think adding an additional subject may not look like alot but it IS. very exhausting. which is why i'm planning to enjoy my last sem. the very last sem of my undergraduate years. whoa. it feels surreal saying it. i don't think it has actually sunk in yet.
yet, i'm not phased by it. i don't feel any fears of what's gonna happen in the future. i know that through Him i can do everything :) i'll take it one step at a time (jordin sparks, date unknown wtf)
ohh..if all goes well today, i might just end up with a very nice piece of canggihness *fingers crossed*
i just finished watching ugly betty and omg i want her job and her boyfriend.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
9 days away
9 days in jogja and i am finally back in the confines of my home. the familiar. the comforts of home. the place where i can sleep on a comfortable bed and wake up to a hot shower.
9 days.
first night there i was petrified. the room's cleanliness and hygiene were questionable. walls were peeling, screaming for a fresh new coat of paint. the ceiling reminded me of the japanese horror film, water. patches of water marks scattered around the ceiling. thankfully the room was dark enough to hide the flaws in the morning otherwise, i would think i was staring in my very own horror film. the one blanket provided, had to be shared by two was utterly horrific yet i couldn't not use it. i needed it. the nights were freezing cold despite there being no ac to cool the room. we only had the fan and the cooling jogja night weather. the blanket had a funny smell and made my legs itch because of the vast amount of bulu popping out of it. yet, i still couldn't not sleep without it. even the pillow made me shudder just thinking of laying my head on it. i can only the god's that be who created hoodies. and don't get me started with the toilet. green tiles, seriously? vomit inducing and absolutely gross. especially with that particular shade of green. the only thing i can be thankful for is the working flush. otherwise, god knows what we'll do when a dump needs to be made. hot shower? think again. more like a pail and a tub of freezing cold water, my grandmother's house style. imagine having to bathe early in the morning in such conditions. no wonder many of us had the slight case of the sniffles. or maybe it was just me. that's not all. we even found a huge ass insect whose species i am not familiar with in the toilet while one of us was bathing! frickin' scary. since that incident, whenever i go into the toilet, i check the floors to make sure it is bug-free.
yet, the 8 nights we were there, affection and attachment had been cultivated. the room was the very room we all went home to at the end of a busy and tiring day. the musky smelled room was home for the week we were there so no matter how bad the condition was, it was home to us. the room condition was so bad that some of my fellow travelers contemplated moving into the nearest hotel which had a functioning toilet with hot showers and ac yet they managed to suck it in and rough it out with the rest of us.
i'm not gonna lie. the first day there, i was ready to go home. yet, the powers that be must have foreseen that going home early would end the start of one of the most amazing trips i have ever been on. friendships had been built and friendships have been sealed.
seeing the things that i have seen made me realize how privileged i am and how easily the simple things in life like a clean and comfortable bed, hot showers and clean walls are taken for granted. leader of the pack, dr. yeoh has definitely succeeded in making the familiar unfamiliar, breaking down what was seen as trivial to us and bringing us back to basics.
i should have put up the link earlier before leaving but hey, better late than never!
so read all about what i did in my search of yogyakarta *click*
now all i am looking forward to is sleeping on my bed and resting my head on my clean pillow and waking up knowing that i don't have to scream and shiver in freezing water though after so many nights and days of bathing in cold water has made my body adjust to the level of coldness i had to endure. splashing cold water no longer seemed like a task yet still it didn't make me enjoy the entire process.
this trip has made me realize that i can adapt to any situation and try to make the best out of it. maybe having the convenience of shopping and fast food at my doorstep made the adaptation slightly smoother but nevertheless, i made it through. and definitely the sight of the many familiar faces going through the same things as i made me know that i was not the only one. talking about the room condition and crazy morning baths, probably brought us a little closer. the sights and sounds of jogja were so different from here that it was easy to appreciate the differences of the familiar and unfamiliar. graffiti on public walls, street musicians busking openly and peaceful street demonstrations shows just how vastly different 2 countries in the same region can be. i've seen and interacted with the locals in ways i could never have if not for this cultural trip. organized tours only show you the beauty of a country not the nitty gritty. cultural trips like the one organized by my lecturer brought us 10 steps closer to the locals and showed us the beauty and ugly of the going ons in the country. and from what i've seen, i've seen so much of beauty that even the amazing borobudur, prambanan temple, kraton and mount merapi have no match for the hospitality of the people of jogja that made my stay in jogja all the more amazing in this amazing mix of batik, music and art of a state.
today is gonna be the day
that we're gonna learn something new
by now we should have realized
jogja's got something new
we don't believe that anybody could feel the we do
about you now
back beat the word is on the street
that the fire in our heart is lit
we don't believe that anybody could feel the way we do
about you now
We've seen so much our bright new eyes are yearning,
For all we've done, we'll spread the word concerning,
There are many things that we would like to say to you but we don't know how..
Hey maybe,
We say Terima Kasih....
and after all.... you're so Wonderful...
*sung to oasis' wonderwall and minta ampun, i forgot some of the lyrics so i'm just putting up what i remembered.
ps: feeling pretty inspired and probably suffering from the one hour jet-lag wtfwtf.
9 days.
first night there i was petrified. the room's cleanliness and hygiene were questionable. walls were peeling, screaming for a fresh new coat of paint. the ceiling reminded me of the japanese horror film, water. patches of water marks scattered around the ceiling. thankfully the room was dark enough to hide the flaws in the morning otherwise, i would think i was staring in my very own horror film. the one blanket provided, had to be shared by two was utterly horrific yet i couldn't not use it. i needed it. the nights were freezing cold despite there being no ac to cool the room. we only had the fan and the cooling jogja night weather. the blanket had a funny smell and made my legs itch because of the vast amount of bulu popping out of it. yet, i still couldn't not sleep without it. even the pillow made me shudder just thinking of laying my head on it. i can only the god's that be who created hoodies. and don't get me started with the toilet. green tiles, seriously? vomit inducing and absolutely gross. especially with that particular shade of green. the only thing i can be thankful for is the working flush. otherwise, god knows what we'll do when a dump needs to be made. hot shower? think again. more like a pail and a tub of freezing cold water, my grandmother's house style. imagine having to bathe early in the morning in such conditions. no wonder many of us had the slight case of the sniffles. or maybe it was just me. that's not all. we even found a huge ass insect whose species i am not familiar with in the toilet while one of us was bathing! frickin' scary. since that incident, whenever i go into the toilet, i check the floors to make sure it is bug-free.
yet, the 8 nights we were there, affection and attachment had been cultivated. the room was the very room we all went home to at the end of a busy and tiring day. the musky smelled room was home for the week we were there so no matter how bad the condition was, it was home to us. the room condition was so bad that some of my fellow travelers contemplated moving into the nearest hotel which had a functioning toilet with hot showers and ac yet they managed to suck it in and rough it out with the rest of us.
i'm not gonna lie. the first day there, i was ready to go home. yet, the powers that be must have foreseen that going home early would end the start of one of the most amazing trips i have ever been on. friendships had been built and friendships have been sealed.
seeing the things that i have seen made me realize how privileged i am and how easily the simple things in life like a clean and comfortable bed, hot showers and clean walls are taken for granted. leader of the pack, dr. yeoh has definitely succeeded in making the familiar unfamiliar, breaking down what was seen as trivial to us and bringing us back to basics.
i should have put up the link earlier before leaving but hey, better late than never!
so read all about what i did in my search of yogyakarta *click*
now all i am looking forward to is sleeping on my bed and resting my head on my clean pillow and waking up knowing that i don't have to scream and shiver in freezing water though after so many nights and days of bathing in cold water has made my body adjust to the level of coldness i had to endure. splashing cold water no longer seemed like a task yet still it didn't make me enjoy the entire process.
this trip has made me realize that i can adapt to any situation and try to make the best out of it. maybe having the convenience of shopping and fast food at my doorstep made the adaptation slightly smoother but nevertheless, i made it through. and definitely the sight of the many familiar faces going through the same things as i made me know that i was not the only one. talking about the room condition and crazy morning baths, probably brought us a little closer. the sights and sounds of jogja were so different from here that it was easy to appreciate the differences of the familiar and unfamiliar. graffiti on public walls, street musicians busking openly and peaceful street demonstrations shows just how vastly different 2 countries in the same region can be. i've seen and interacted with the locals in ways i could never have if not for this cultural trip. organized tours only show you the beauty of a country not the nitty gritty. cultural trips like the one organized by my lecturer brought us 10 steps closer to the locals and showed us the beauty and ugly of the going ons in the country. and from what i've seen, i've seen so much of beauty that even the amazing borobudur, prambanan temple, kraton and mount merapi have no match for the hospitality of the people of jogja that made my stay in jogja all the more amazing in this amazing mix of batik, music and art of a state.
today is gonna be the daythat we're gonna learn something new
by now we should have realized
jogja's got something new
we don't believe that anybody could feel the we do
about you now
back beat the word is on the street
that the fire in our heart is lit
we don't believe that anybody could feel the way we do
about you now
We've seen so much our bright new eyes are yearning,
For all we've done, we'll spread the word concerning,
There are many things that we would like to say to you but we don't know how..
Hey maybe,
We say Terima Kasih....
and after all.... you're so Wonderful...
*sung to oasis' wonderwall and minta ampun, i forgot some of the lyrics so i'm just putting up what i remembered.
ps: feeling pretty inspired and probably suffering from the one hour jet-lag wtfwtf.
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
hullo. i is back home sweet home. been gone for 5 days. which totals to 5 days without internet connection. damn it feels good to be back.
it was a whirlwind of endless walking and spending. a much deserved break to say the least. the past weeks (in regards to the 1st semester of course) had me broken inside out. literally exhausting me of whatever ounce of energy i had left. trying to salvage the remaining pieces of what's left. i breathed a huge sigh of relief that very friday i put the final dot of the full stop on that exam booklet. shook the ache of writing like i've never written before and walked out feeling lighter. i stood taller. i smiled wider. i made it through the wilderness.
and now, i'm already in the second week of my break. 2 out of 3. 2 days left before i go off again. excitement filled me a minute ago. now, all i wanna do is just stay, glued to one spot and not move. just the rise and fall of my beating heart. the sound of me breathing.
and then, i'm all excited again. head filled with excitement and the thrill of going somewhere new and foreign.
and the cycle continues.
this is probably due to the nature of how things work in the body, mind and soul of a hot-blooded female. that time of month where you're literally hot and cold in a split second. uncontrollable. unstoppable.
nevertheless, am totally looking forward to my next trip. a study tour is the official name for it. hopefully i can try to put my skills to the test. whatever the skills may be. i have yet to find out what my skills may be. but if this trip can open eyes to whatever possibilites and outcomes it may have on my future, then it will be a life-changing trip. otherwise, it will just be a great trip with a bunch of great people.
i go with the flow. and so far, the flow has been good to me. *knocks on wood*
it was a whirlwind of endless walking and spending. a much deserved break to say the least. the past weeks (in regards to the 1st semester of course) had me broken inside out. literally exhausting me of whatever ounce of energy i had left. trying to salvage the remaining pieces of what's left. i breathed a huge sigh of relief that very friday i put the final dot of the full stop on that exam booklet. shook the ache of writing like i've never written before and walked out feeling lighter. i stood taller. i smiled wider. i made it through the wilderness.
and now, i'm already in the second week of my break. 2 out of 3. 2 days left before i go off again. excitement filled me a minute ago. now, all i wanna do is just stay, glued to one spot and not move. just the rise and fall of my beating heart. the sound of me breathing.
and then, i'm all excited again. head filled with excitement and the thrill of going somewhere new and foreign.
and the cycle continues.
this is probably due to the nature of how things work in the body, mind and soul of a hot-blooded female. that time of month where you're literally hot and cold in a split second. uncontrollable. unstoppable.
nevertheless, am totally looking forward to my next trip. a study tour is the official name for it. hopefully i can try to put my skills to the test. whatever the skills may be. i have yet to find out what my skills may be. but if this trip can open eyes to whatever possibilites and outcomes it may have on my future, then it will be a life-changing trip. otherwise, it will just be a great trip with a bunch of great people.
i go with the flow. and so far, the flow has been good to me. *knocks on wood*
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