Tuesday, June 16, 2009

overactive imagination turns reality. for real.

you know how you sometimes play the worst case scenario in your head when you're doing something? like say, you're walking down the street, you sometimes imagine someone's gonna come from nowhere and grab your bag. or sometimes when you're watching a movie and something tragic happens, you imagine what would you do if you were in the same situation. but at the end of the day, just before you lay your head to sleep, nothing bad ever really happens and it was all just you being paranoid of the world. heck, you think you have an overactive imagination. as if everyone out there is out to get you. look, she's using that handphone, she's wearing that necklace. everyone is suddenly out to take something from you.

well.

guess what?

overactive imagination finally decided to become reality. if you don't know already - facebook very good way to let the world know what happened - i was robbed.

don't worry. i'm fine. the bastard - from now onwards, whatever derogatory name i can think of will be used to describe the son of a bitch - only took my things. he didn't lay a finger on me. i can only thank God for that because only God knows what would have happened to me.

i was sleeping when it happened. deep sleep somemore if i could sleep through whatever commotion the motherfucker made when he was happily shopping in my room. so that was probably wise of me. the sleeping part. i dare not think what would happen if i woke up while he was in my room. okay, let's not go there. mental pictures are appearing in my head now.

the incident probably happened around 3-4am. now i'm wondering. how could he see in the dark? the window blinds were closed and i sleep with the lights off. damn that fucking asshole.

i feel violated. i was 'attacked' when i was most vulnerable. do you know how vulnerable you are when you are sleeping? okay. i should stop. mental images of possible ifs are appearing.

DAMN THAT FUCKTARD.

i'm still reeling with geramness at what happened. suddenly you think of 'oh i should have kept this and that in the drawer/cupboard'. CRAP LAH. it's done and over with. nothing can change that but then you still think of what you should have done. fuck this lah. i'm not supposed to feel like this.

i only got up when my dad came up to my room and asked me if i kept my jewellery box in the room. at first, when he asked, the question didn't really register. i think i mumbled a no saying i never took any box out of my room. then he persisted with another question of i kept anything in a the red box that was on my dresser. since i was already rudely awaken by a question that seemed nonsensical at 7.50 AM, i went to see the box in the other room. that was when i saw that ALL my accesories were GONE. i then rushed back to my room and realized one of my bag was missing. and then the other missing items were taken note of. watch and camera all gone. handphone which was on my bedside table, no prizes for correct answer, MISSING! FUCK THE SON OF A BITCH. he was THAT close to me. my bedside table. my head lying inches away from the table. DAMN THAT MOTHER FUCKER.

i don't know whether to laugh or cry when i saw my mac was safely on the table.

further inspection really made me wonder if i should laugh or cry. my pendrive was missing. my pendrive filled with assignments and lecture notes was missing but my laptop was still on my study table. the other joy in this otherwise terrible tragedy that has ever befallen me. hopefully the only one. i don't think i can take it if i have to go through this another time.

i can't remember what i felt. but after awhile i started to get mad. the first thought was probably 'GREAT, this had to happen during my exam period lah!'

yes. there i was worrying about authorship and THIS had to happen.

one day lost. and as if i can read now. i have all this geramness still in me and the what if scenarios keep playing in my head.

and i'm actually quite paranoid now. what if he comes back again since it was so easy the first time?

and i just found out just now that one of the kitchen knife is missing. OMG HE HAD A KNIFE WHEN HE WAS IN MY ROOM. I COULD HAVE BEEN dot dot dot...

the funny thing is, for the past 15 years i was living in a non-gated area. my old place was next to a main road. robberies happened outside my house NOT in it. now, i'm living in a gated area and 6 months later, for the first time in my entire life, i was robbed. goes to show that nothing is really as it seems. you think you're safe and protected just cause you're living in an area with high walls surrounding your area and 2 security guards guarding the ONLY entry and exit point of your area. you could never be more wrong.

now, my door is locked and i'm gonna sleep with the lights on.

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