Monday, October 26, 2009

if i had to choose between her and the sun, i would be one nocturnal son of a gun

will it be irresponsible of me if i said i wanted a break after my exams? as in not do anything AT ALL kind of break.

because, where i'm from, apparently a break means i 'help' out in the business. not that i am ungrateful or trying to piss them off or anything like that, but for goodness sake and to risk sounding like a spoilt, pampered bitch, i really just wanna do nothing with any form of responsibilities attached to it.

there IS a part of me though that wants to apply for internships and there a couple of sites that i know of who are looking.

so really, what should i do? a part of me wants this and another part wants that.

but would it be irresponsible of me if wanted to do nothing at all even for just a couple of months?

Sunday, October 25, 2009

nothing compares to you

in record time, i completed my essay 3 days, ok fine, 2 days in advance! *pats self on back wtf* that is if i didnt screw it up. since i could write about anything and everything within the boundaries of the malaysian cinema scope.

it's a fun class btw. for lectures, we watch malaysian films and i have to say, this makes me appreciate malaysian cinema and also fuels my desire to film a short film. one day, i say! there are many a hidden gems in the local film scene. one of the assignments requires us to prepare a storyboard for our greatest malaysian film. the presentation was last week and i say, good stuff generated in the span of 13 weeks.

sigh. i think i'm gonna miss uni life after all :(

it's been my life and more for the past 3 years. it's the only stable thing in my life. and now, that stability is going to be destabilized till i find myself a stable job. which btw my mother has already began the search for. she thrust a job ad in ma face this morning! like whoah, slow down momma. i haven't handed up my essay or sat for my exams yet. :S

the pressure is ON!

what's a better way to cap of the week of hard-mind-numbing-labour than to go shopping with my girlfriend, shee ann! pure shopping goodness wtf. i have succumbed to the consumer culture. no escape i'm afraid. there's a reason why its called retail therapy. don't quote on me this, kids!

shopping in bangsar isn't as fun when you know you can get the same stuff for a fraction of the price in bangkok! but because i'm here and not in bangkok, i caved in and spent...rm xxx +__+ don't tell my momma, yo!

holiday to bangkok anyone? i'm recruiting traveler's now wtf.

the best thing i bought however is this rectangular velcro thingy you "piak" onto your hair. i think it's the greatest thing invented EVER! it's the shizznit, yo!

...

ok, i'm restless now. stupid connection is so slow, my pet tortoise walks faster from the MonU carpark to the Media Lab than loading my fb page. and that's a looooong walk. trust me. i used to compare with my friends how far we parked and we would laugh at the ones who park way way back. jealous glares would be directed at the ones who parked near of coz.

:(

quite. sad. now.

oohh oohh, i'm very happy to have finally downloaded sinead o'connor's nothing compares to you and lisa loeb's stay. the connection in the comp lab is my best friend *strokes imaginary comp lab* and have you people heard the cast of glee singing bon jovi's it's my life and usher's confessions? it's the shiizzznittt, yo! brilliant those people who mixed it! i want to be a writer on glee. how do i apply? soon to be graduate looking for position thankiu :)

notice i was sad and then now i'm happy.

fuhh...see what i mean when i said i'm restless. thankgoodness the connection does not affect blogging.

i sleep at the oddest hours that i can't sleep early +__+

*wills self to sleep NOW*

Friday, October 23, 2009

stay

bittersweet.

i had my very last class today *tear*

no more walks to classrooms or lecture halls or labs. 3 years and this is how it ends.

on the one hand, i am actually epically excited about graduating. my entire life of education leads to this one pivotal point in my life, entire existence. all those late nights and many more late nights as well as thousands of word counts and i'm finally at the end of this chapter.

epic joy!

i dont care what people tell me about how much they miss doing assignments and going for classes, right now, i'm just excited that it's over!

and i also handed up my second last assignment. yes, despite it being the end of semester, i still have an essay write. hey, they gotta suck us dry before they set us off into the real world, right?

*assignment mode ON*

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Monday, October 19, 2009

how do you know?

"i believe that our first love is the truest love of all" - yasmin ahmad

i wouldn't know if the above quote is true or not because i don't have the experience of a first love to back me up but i would love to think that the above quote is true. first love is the time where you put yourself out there for the first time. the first time you let yourself be vulnerable. the first time you experience pain and heartache. the first time you experience a great joy you never knew you could feel. the first of maybe every possible emotions and feelings you're bound to feel when experiencing a first love. the first time you let yourself love another without hiding any part of you because you want to share every single detail and part of yourself with this one special person.

i want this. i want to experience this wonderful feeling people make movies about and people sing about and people write about.

do i want to risk getting hurt if it doesn't work out? do i want to risk feeling that love is the most over-rated feeling in the world? do i want to risk never loving anyone else again if the first love doesn't work out the way i wanted and expected it to?

yes. cause life is too short.

what about perfect timing? the right time to let yourself be at your most vulnerable? there is no such thing as a right time. every minute of your life is ticking by.

"this is your life and it's ending one minute at a time." - the narrator, fight club

Friday, October 16, 2009

dis.con. n sl-win dwn

effin' pissed with my connection. i thought i could finally watch the latest episode of vamp diaries but no. false hope. and my second attempt at dressing up in looklet.com failed because of the bloody connection >:(

geramnya.

i think the days incident has given me a wake up a call. i think i can finally be distorted in my flow of thoughts and writing. i hope i did it right this time.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

plan b.

look ma'!

look image


literally smitchterally blahh

if i had to choose, today probably tops the list of one of the worst days ever. so much for leaving with a bang. everything seems to be falling apart. is this a sign of what my future is going to be like?

or more of me realizing i cannot do everything and that i'm no super(wo)man. that i cant be good at everything. that i too have a weakness and it's in the form of wrtthreefourtwotwo. if anything, i can be sure of this, it can and will be the death of me.

unless of course i buckle up and write the randomest shyt ever.

dont be literal. rule of thumb.

dis.con.nec.t myself with my train of thoughts. let the words go. let them roam free of their own accord. let them do the talking and shouting and screaming. just dont mean what you say. literally. make yourself less understandable and more ambiguous.

that's the way it moves.

the way it shakes.

the way it flicks.

that's the way i should be.

so, if i had to choose, today definitely tops the list of worst days.

ever.

and no. kanye can't interrupt this.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

i spy with my eyes that this blogger...

is not a happy camper. i have 2 major assignments left in the final weeks of my semester and i cannot wait for it to come to an end!

an end for good! *fingers crossed*

the only joy i have in my life right now is:

the big bang theory

hands down the bestest most hilarious show EVER!


the vampire diaries

my latest guilty pleasure!

i finished watching true blood and according to a pretty credible source, the new season will only begin in june 2010! another year ohmaigad! so i have stefan and damon to fulfill my weekly eye dose of guilty pleasure.

i wanna watch (500) days of summer. doesn't help that every review i read screams greatest flick of the year!

http://a0.vox.com/6a00d09e612638be2b01240b64cb28860e-500pi

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

i like potatoes

today was probably the first in weeks where i got to plonk myself on the couch and channel surf. the feeling was euphoric wtf. looking forward to doing so after finals wtfwtf. i am so ambitious!

Sunday, October 11, 2009

till death do us part

i just came back from a relative's wedding dinner. haven't been to a wedding dinner in quite some time. this was one was a refreshing change from the usual ones i've been to. there was a speech given by the maid of honour and father of the bride as well as a speech by the bride&groom themselves. they did dwell a little about their courtship and i thought it was really sweet. at least we know a little about how they got to where they are today.

"darling, you are the love of my life"

then there was the customary yam seng and i have to say, it was amusing to see the angmoh do it!

i have dreamt about my wedding when i was young and i have to say, my plans then and now have changed. but who knows when that will happen or if it'll ever happen. there was a time i was itching to get into a relationship so that i can move on with my life according to how the discourse is today but then i've come to realize that i don't have to path my life according to the discourse. i can break free. but then again, structuralism will tell me that i'm in fact not breaking free and doing it my own way yada yada yada. depressing stuff, i know.

the entrance was reminiscent of that youtube video where the bridesmaids and groomsmen danced their way in. i absolutely loved that entrance and thought it was ingenious! take that and transfer it here, epic fail. they weren't really into it. they were moving parts of their bodies i.e. hands clapping to the beat of the song and twirling and turning but they weren't really INTO it. if you're gonna do something novel as to dance your way in, do it with pizazz and oomph! go all out then it'll be a hit. i just thought that they could have done so much better. the bride was really into it though, that's for sure. and i guess our culture is not used to this sort of entrance, everyone didn't really know how to react cos when the bride&groom reached their table there was a 2 second, maybe more, awkward moment of silence. the emcee had to remind everyone to clap. i felt for the bride. very awkward indeed. looks like the older generation have to catch up with the young ones.

i want a crazy ass entrance too!

i think weddings should be a celebration and hence a party like atmosphere with close and intimate family and friends should be the way to go! why would i want to celebrate this one special occasion in my life with distant relatives whose names i do not know and who doesn't really know me. y'know why? to please our parents that's why.

wedding dinners are fun. sometimes i like to be all cynical and sometimes i like all the romance behind it all and hope one day for my fairytale wedding. sighh...like some 5 year old kid all over again.

now, i look forward to attending weddings of people that i know i.e. friends!

my dear friends, go get yourselves hitched. it's our generation now ;P

Thursday, October 08, 2009

i think i should know

watched fight club today. i love that film. didn't realize how long it was. it was long. worth your money i reckon. i think this was the film that introduced me to edward norton. not brad pitt, though i think he looks way better in that film. i never really got on the bandwagon about how hot and whatever pitt was though i think he makes pretty babies with angelina.

ever since eating the cupcake marina bought yesterday, i have been craving them. so i bought myself two today and happily gobbled them after dinner which makes me sound like a pig but nevermind. pig ma pig lorrr...don't judge me. i think reading kim kardashian's tweet about famous cupcakes also contributed to the cupcake craving. the word cupcake is dancing all over in my mind now. make it stop. please. if i eat anymore i will look like one and we don't want that now, do we?

i am happy happy right now cos i have completed my checklist for today. sucha good feeling! bask in my glory, people!

bask in it!

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

and they all fall down

ever felt like everything in your head is a jumbled mess and as you try to pick the pieces, you realize you're in deeper shit than you thought you were.

yeah.

that's what it is.

i have so much on my mind it's difficult to pinpoint exactly what it is that is bothering me more. the fact that i have so much work still to do or the fact that everything i've been working so hard for is quickly coming to end.

there's too much on my mind and very very little time.

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

pina colada & jalapenos

i am delighted that i have at least completed one of my assignments in record time. okay, maybe not completely completed. partially, yes but still. the writing part is done so i'm very proud of that :) after yesterdays depressing-ness, today i have to say was a good day! so i'm happy happy.

and i spent way more than i should on food. more than i spend on days when i'm having class. i suppose when hunger strikes, hunger strikes!

i was just watching gossip girl and i've come to realize that everything on it is so dramatized and unrealistic yet so delicious. to be honest, i remember watching it and hating almost everyone on the show cause they got on my nerves so bad. yet, i still continued on watching because i wanted to know how it ends. not to say that i absolutely love the show for the storyline or its characterizations. i love that the show is my 4o minutes of guilty pleasure. of experiencing new york the way i wished i could experience it. of experiencing the different fashion styles the way i wish i could. it's my window to a world of fabulous-ness.

because really, other than that, there's nothing much i can talk about besides how totally cute blair and chuck look together whenever they appear. really, we can't be talking about how great it is that nate is finally dating so and so because 2 episodes later, they're gonna break up like they're on new york fashion week picking their favourite designer. we also can't possibly talk about how great that serena is constantly screwing her life up or how jenny who is greater than thou is trying to demolish the hierarchy oh great blair built and will finally succeed this time because really that's be done numerous times too. and dan, pffft, possibly the ultimate player in the mix who started out so well. totally giving nate a run for his money.

yawn.

yet, i still go back to that show weekly. the power of pretty people dressed up in pretty clothing.

why am i talking about this? right, because i was watching it halfway when they tell me my time limit is up! geramnya.

/end of rant.

you must be wondering why pina colada & jalapenos for a title?

pina colada because marina was playing her songs and this was one of them. old school classical cool, yo! belinda had this to say, 'is there anyone in here who isn't dead?' HAHAHA x infinity wtf

and jalapenos because they were trying out various ways of pronouncing it. exciting times in store whenever the 3 of us are together :)

makes you want to be my friend, eh?

Monday, October 05, 2009

history lesson 101

in my almost 3 years of undergraduate studies, i have NEVER asked for an extension. EVER! i take pride in the fact that i can complete my work by the dateline. i was going to step out of uni proclaiming that i never had handed up my assignment late or asked for an extension.

today is a historical day.

today, i broke that very thing which made me who i am today. the one thing i could be proud of. the thing i could boast and gloat about. the very thing which is the essence of my entire undergraduate years, is now unattainable. i have been dethroned. and i doubt anyone can take my place because my other partner in crime, marina has also been dethroned. we are now just like everybody else.

no more gloating. no more boasting.

today marks a black spot in my cleanclean slate. i shall go cry in a corner right now.

today, i also realized that only a lecturer can make your heart beat so fast it will make your entire body vibrate, palms sweat, face turn pale, start pulling your hair and make stab-me-in-the-heart gestures and go down on your knees screaming 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!' and beg to be killed right now so that the misery can end.

yes. today is a historical day indeed.

i even had my suicidal mode on. optimism just flew out the window and in came pessimism to rescue the day. fun stuff the things you learn in university.

Sunday, October 04, 2009

what you say

after 3 days of bliss, i come home with an upset stomach, body ache and internal body heatyness so panas it will make your water boil. now i know why some people say they need a holiday to recover from their holiday.

i'm feeling better now, thanks for asking.

i think the mid-sem break went by too fast but don't they always? i'd like to think i spent it pretty well :)

if anything, it was especially "educational" for me, as the rest can attest to. sudah boleh kahwin dah wtf. a crash course in life lessons.

right now, i shall bask in the final hours of my mid-sem break. honestly, the coming weeks will probably be the craziest weeks. i iz sked now. presentations, major projects, major essay and final exam. phwoarrr...believe you me when i say i cannot wait to finish and graduate.

during dinner, my dad made me cough and choke on my drink. i forgot what he said but it was hilarious. that tends to happen to me. alot.