black friday on a Good Friday.

my day started at 12-ish pm. it was the first time i switched off my alarm on a weekday. yes, friday is a weekday too. i couldn't let the alarm wake me this time because i needed my body to sleep and wake up when it was ready too. it has been a crazy 4 day work day this week. i guess it was the universe's way of telling me to pay back the time that i missed on the days that i was off. which was crazy.

so my day started at 12pm when i woke up, showered, lunched and headed to work. as my usual routine goes, i would park my car and walk to my office building which takes less than 10 minutes walk. smart me squeezed into a tight spot and couldn't get out from the driver's side. i cleverly thought that i was 'skinny' enough to squeeze myself out but i wasn't 'skinny' enough. so i restarted my car to repark again.

key in ignition. turn to start. car starts.

that's how it should have gone.

key in ignition. turn to start. car doesn't start.

+_________+

i try again.

and again.

and again.

great. add in the fact that there was no reception in the carpark, i couldn't call for help. and i couldn't get out from the drivers side so i had to climb over to the passenger side to get out. my brilliance sometimes amazes me.

i decide to make the call for help in the office and thus proceeded the walk to my office. barely 50 steps out, it POURS. not drizzle, mind you. BIG FAT RAINDROPS! the only saving grace? i carry a foldable umbrella in my bag for days such as this.

could my day not get any worst? first the car and now the rain. and then i get into the office and receives news that there are changes to the job that i've been working on for the past 3 days. strike gold today.

had a brief meeting to discuss the job but my mind was worried about the car. and my face showed it. i was preoccupied with so many things, nothing really made sense. but there's always a silver lining in every cloud. and the day slowly got better.

i was surprised with a cupcake cause it's my birthday month! so that instantly perked me. i'm so easy to please. then the mechanic came to help with the car situation which wasn't a situation afterall cause the car started just fine with no hiccups whatsoever. figures la. and work was done for me!

and i went for service today which was very different. loads of reflection to do. it really highlights the great sacrifice Jesus did. He died for our sins.

so what started out as an unfortunate day turned around to be a pretty good one.

have a good Easter!

i miss being

a student.

a graduate.

a carefree being.

i miss worrying only about completing assignments and hoping to be able to graduate and then figuring it out from there. but now that i am in the figuring it out part, it sucks. nobody and nothing prepares you for this. even when i think i've got it all covered.

time keeper.

i'm the kind of person who ALWAYS wears a watch whenever i'm out of the house. i get really uneasy when i don't know the time. it's like i'm chasing after something wtf. but about a couple of months ago, i didn't want to wear my watch. i felt restricted by it. as if my every movement was being timed and that it felt like i was also running or rushing for something.

in my previous job, i needed my watch to keep me punctual. i would have to constantly look at the time to make sure i was not late for my appointment. often times i'd have back to back appointments and keeping time was a necessity! but it was at this time that i felt the restriction of wearing my watch. it was weighing me down. my hand felt heavier and many a times, i found myself taking my watch off. and it was then that i felt the liberation of not knowing what time it was! i was constantly keeping check of myself. i felt the freedom to move about and just be. it was so easy for me to just look at my watch to know what time of the day it was and what the next plan was going to be. without my watch, i was a child without a care. skipping through green hills and picking berries from bushes. this was probably the time i felt actual freedom. freedom from time. not worrying about the future and just focusing on the present.

and then, that careless abandon left me and i was back to being the time keeper. constantly feeling reassured that control was back in my hands. that i had a to-do list to accomplish by the end of the day. my wrist would feel bare without the warmth of the leather strap and cold stainless steel surface of the watch. my hands were a lil' too light.

and so i resorted to wearing my watch again. periodically looking at it to make sure there was enough time to do the things that i had to do.

when i needed the time the most, i left it and felt liberated. and now that i'm not worried so much about time, i wear it constantly. reminding me of how important it is to know the time. there's a mix reaction now. there are times where i just feel like not wearing my watch but because of habit, i always put it on. and if i'm really conscious about it, i'll just take it off and stuff it in my bag and feel that freedom again.

wishing well

“I have always believed that writing advertisements is the second most profitable form of writing. The first, of course, is ransom notes.”
Phil Dusenberry

taken from here

this somehow gives me a sense of direction in life. it's been a month and a week. tomorrow marking a month and 2 weeks. a colleague mentioned that i should have a drink to mark the one month period. i didn't. i should have and i would have had i had enough money to buy myself a drink. a pint of guinness would have been the choice seeing as i've never actually had a pint of guinness before but it seemed like such a grown up choice of alcoholic beverage. i've taken a sip of it and liked the smoothness of it but never a pint to myself.

a friend mentioned that i should go out more. socialize more. meet new people. i would if i wasn't so damn tired every time i switch off my computer in the office. clubs? i seem to develop a very unfriendly stance towards clubbing. and i don't think i'd like to meet someone in a club or would i? its so noisy and the only way you can hear what the other person is saying is if they come really up close in your breathing space or it's a shout fest. i'd rather stay home. but staying home won't let me meet new people. going out would.

and by going out, i would really like to sit somewhere where ice-creams and cake and milkshakes and the odd tong sui and wor peng would be served! and that's what i'd like to do. serve desserts cause everyone ALWAYS has space for desserts :)

why people sometimes fail #1

you know you're a couch potato when you're channel surfing and you're watching one program and you switch channels when the ads come on and then you watch another show only to realize that you were actually watching something else but the realization comes too late when you turn back to the original channel and the show ended an hour ago +____+

definition of a failed couch potato.