the world as i see it

somebody once told me that jason mraz must be high when he writes. not that i'm implying this particular song is weirdly worded. in fact, it's just the opposite! i'm not in love or anything crazy like that. heard this on the radio, whipped out my shazam app and youtube-d it immediately. oh mr mraz, when are you going to serenade us with your poetic words?

was running on the treadmill for the first time this year yesterday and it got me thinking. you see, i was prepared to only run for about 10 minutes (my excuse? cause i didn't want to exert myself. fuckin' lame is what it is and just plain lazy) but as i was running, i increased it to another 5 minutes. when 5 minutes came and went, i added another till i was running for 30 minutes. the recommended training time. i did it!

this kind of reflects life, doesn't it? we start something like say a new job and the first few weeks will be easy peasy just like the first 5 minutes on the treadmill. you start off slow and easy. then the toughest part comes, that first incline and the faster speed gets thrown in. that new job is slowly becoming a routine and tough one at that as more responsibilities get thrown into the mix. this is probably the time where questions of life enter; what am i doing here? is this going to be the rest of my life? i can't live like this anymore! and you get the drill. you start looking for escape routes. you start setting up time frames.

as you are running, you see that you're almost at the 10 minute mark but just as you've touched it, you realize that you can go on for another 5-10 minutes and you start pushing yourself further. same like work. just as you think that enough is enough, the hardest part comes to past and you say i can stay for a while more.

and that's life. we push further. we either up and quit right after and move on to something else or we hang in there and see that all that hard work pays off eventually and for some, it will most definitely pay off. there really isn't a right answer. it's what we want.

what do i want?

to keep running on that treadmill till i hit my target (by years end, i will lose them kilograms!!! RAH RAH RAH!) or find an alternative way to lose them (diets?! self-control needs to be obtained +__+ which i'm lacking very much of but am actually slowly practicing teehee)

my china/christmas weight is off the roof and i'm totally freaking out every time i weigh myself :( and then i get really depressed. sigh.

now with new years in another week or so, it's just going to be eat, eat, eat and more eat! all those dinners and cookies, self-restraint will be put to the ultimate test.

God give me strength.