Tuesday, June 26, 2012

knocked out.

sometimes, third time isn't always the charm.

nope. it's my third time now and am totally in deeper shit than when i first started. if anything, it's as though i haven't learnt anything from my past. how frustrating. 

to those who are reading this and have found yourself doing something you enjoy/love, good on you. i can only wish i will find mine soon. like when i thought i did but really didn't. i don't regret that because at least i tried and decided that it really wasn't for me. but now, for me to actually go back when i've repeatedly told myself and countless others how much loathe i had for it, it's unheard of! it's as if i've just lost that part of my life to denial and psyched myself into thinking i can force love it.

either that or i just love torturing myself.

one way of looking at this is that i'm learning the hard knocks of life. no school will ever prepare you for this.

better this than a relationship with a destructive lover perhaps?

oh, grow up. so what if it's tough work? deal with it. everybody else is.

 fuck this. 


need to organize my thoughts.

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