clouded, shrouded.

i've got myself an interview this week. not too thrilled about it cause the position offered is not of interest to me.

so the question is, should i go for the interview anyways just to get the feel of it or screw it and wait expectantly for the email/phone call from the other company to tell me i can attend the first round of interviews? the reason for me wanting to bail out of this current interview is because i'm not interested in the position. i tried getting for more information from the website but there's just not no relevant information especially pertaining to the job description. and that's where the other company i'm really hoping for a reply for wins cause they're site is just bursting with information and right now, after reading through the site, i feel so pumped up and ready to just impress their socks off that i can already feel the job in my hands. but, i have to wait for the green light to move on the next step of the process.

part of me just doesn't want to go through a tough process just so i can turn down the offer. i don't want to waste my time and the employer's time when i already know where i stand in the decision making. but then, i have NEVER ever experienced an interview before. from what i heard, the interview process takes an hour +___+ so this would be good practice, yes for the other job/hopefully. honestly, i don't think i've ever wanted anything so much. the olympus pen doesn't count wtf. at this point, i am VERY reluctant to go for the interview and just put myself up for disappointment. if i don't feel like i want the job, i won't be giving my 120% in it, going above and beyond to impress. and the thing is, my summer trip is just this big block in my path now. so i can either apply after returning or apply now and set myself up for disappointment. times like these, i wish i was still in uni, fretting and stressing over assignments and deadlines.

there are still many other places i have not applied to and yet, i seem to be so intent on harping on that one company. i just feel really impressed and confident in the way they work. and i hope by getting through to the interviews, i can find out more about it. but i should still keep my options open, yes? sigh.

all i can do is pray about it and ask God to impress upon me the right thing to do.