bulletproof

i dont need a man.

i want a man.

there's a difference between needs and wants as i've learned in marketing class. and i'm sure the dictionary will tell you the difference too. it's no mystery that all straight/emphasis on the straight now that the world we know has many a variety of sexual orientations\ would want a man. though i do know of some people who need a man.

i'll be honest, i think my perception of romance is really skewed and will probably be off tangent/i'm not really sure what this means but it sounds intelligent\ if measured on the graph. i read way too many chick lits and watch way too many romantic comedies. i sometimes wish my life was like the movies, with background music and hot leading man by my side but life is NOT like the movies, isnt it? cos if it were, we'd be in a perfect world. and the world is far from perfect. just read the newspaper.

everytime i watch a romcom or read a chick lit or anything that has romance in it, i wish i had that. that person to love and want to make things work for life with. yeah, i know there will be tough times and rough times thrown in for good dramatic effect cos gawd knows life is full of dramas but so be it. i wouldn't have it any other way. i remember reading that when couples argue, it shows that they care enough to want to fight about it, to fight for their love. i so agree with that. cos when you don't fight, that's when the loving stops. that's when you don't give a damn anymore to want to fight for it.

so i guess, fighting is good? haha. no, not really. i mean petty fights are just ridiculous. i know of couples who don't seem to have that spark anymore and yet are still in that relationship. but who am i to judge. a relationship involves two parties not three or four. outsiders can only guess and make assumptions about said relationships. if the two that are in it are fine with how things are, i guess we should just let them be. it's their happiness anyways. nothing to do with us. like my friend would say, "it won't affect my DNA"

true that.

i hate how people ask "how come you don't have a boyfriend?","are you picky/choosy?" . yeah, the million dollar question and the rhetorical question goes hand in hand. what answers are these people expecting me to give them? i eat boys for dessert and of cos i'm picky, you wouldn't eat a rotten apple, would you? and why shouldn't i be picky when i might eventually marry this man and wake up next to him every morning for the rest of my life.

life's tough questions answered. gimme my book deal and talk show already.

a conversation with a friend brought my attention to this;

guys are intimidated by our natural awesomeness or status which doesn't really matter when you're just getting to know someone but then again, we're living in the real world. you either have to be from an average-and-below income family or filthy-rich income family to score yourself a man. because those in the average-and-above seem to be having it tough/this is based on the statistics of people i know aka my acquaintances\ so don't quote me on this. the average-and-above are in limbo.

you have to drive a certain car and dress a certain way and speak and act a certain way for guys to be interested enough to initiate the chase/based on personal observation\

maybe it's best if the guy knew less about you which is probably why a mystery girl/guy is such a turn on. you know nuts about this person which makes the chase exciting. like cluedo, the whudunnit game. instead of a murder, it's a guessing game of is this my life partner?

don't you love board games? there's a game called the game of life where you build your career and family all with the roll of a dice and a spin of a wheel in a car you move along the board adding family members and accumulating wealth and health. if only life were that simple.

i know i claim to live the simple life but really, is there really simplicity in this mad and complicated world? i have tons of questions in my head, tons of options to choose from and huge life altering decision to make. does any of that sound simple?

all i'm asking for is someone to lean on, not rely on. is that so hard to ask?