Thursday, December 31, 2009

prepare for takeoff

wow. it's finally here. i don't know why but i've been having this surreal feeling about 2009 coming to an end. like 'i don't believe it's the end' kind of feeling. like a pinch me i must be dreaming kind of feeling. or just slap me senseless and tell me it's not real. maybe i just feel comfortable where i am now and the start of a new year brings with it a whole lot of uncertainties. and in a way, it does.

for the first time in my entire life/existence, i have nothing laid out for me. the world is literally my oyster. i can be anything and do anything and just be without having a thought at the back of my head telling me that this is only temporary and i have better things to do like go back to classes and start the crazy workload. again. i have people asking me, are you gonna do masters? and the same answer always crops up. "at the moment, no. i have no such plans. maybe in the future." but then again, i dont think so either. but that's just the present me talking. who know's what the future me plans.

see. uncertainties. previous new years didn't have this effect on me. maybe because i knew where i was going. if it was during my schooling days, i knew i'll be in school in the new year, getting excited the night before cos i'll be seeing my classmates and seeing teachers again and guessing which teacher will be pregnant. again. trust me when i say this but i have a few teachers whom we called mesin beranak. no joke. every year, she's bound to be pregnant. then when it came to after form5, i knew i was going to college. none of those gap year business. it was just a matter of where i was going. overseas or local? then it came to university and 3 years of my life laid out for me.

but now, the dynamics have changed. i have nothing to fall back on except my ass but that seems to be bruised right now. i am literally a free agent. without a license to kill wtf. i have friends who are so sure of their futures ie applying for honours, masters or securing themselves an interview for a job. what do i have? i sit on the floor and twiddle my thumbs hoping to make a change but never actually doing it. sure, i know what i'm planning to do in june. this time, it's the gap year business. taking time off may be an euphemism for bumming, but whatevs. i live my life. it's not gonna change anybody's DNA.

have a great new years celebration cos i know i will. remember to give a toast to the year that was.

see you on the other side.

Monday, December 28, 2009

the year so far...

it's been a great X'mas, i hope.

now, it's time to mark the end of a year. a year of greatness and a year of not-so-greatness. i think i had a pretty great year. starting with the beginning of the year 2009. i was working at shamu's express. i extended my shift because i didn't want erika to be alone that night plus i could use with the money! it was quite sad actually, me and her in that little booth. then we saw guests wearing these really cool 2oo9 glasses that lighted up! we both really wanted to get one so erika ran off to look for the vendor. we wanted to usher in the new year with style! too bad they were all sold off. very disappointed but nothing we can do. then the countdown began and the fireworks lighted up the night sky. i remember we had to kneel down just so we could see the fireworks. sounds pathetic, i know. no funky 2009 glasses and no new year's party. damn, twas quite sad. at least we had free transport home and an afternoon shift the next day. such simple pleasures.

all that work and i had the bestest time in nyc and san francisco, baybeh! that alone is the one of the greatest highlights of 2009. of course orlando too. that place will forever hold a special place in my heart.

then when the semester started, i took the challenge of taking 5 units. suicidal? hell yes. it was hell exhausting. i didn't feel it when i was doing it but at the end of the semester, that's when it all came crashing. boys and girls, please DON'T fail in uni.

another highlight? turning 21. nuff' said la. not looking forward to 2010 for that alone. or maybe not. ask me when the day comes.

but the most happiest day in 2009 is DEFINITELY finding out that i can graduate. pure, unfiltered, happiness with a capital H. best damn feeling of accomplishing something this ginormous. whoah, a thought just occurred to me. what if i took masters and phD? no need magic mushrooms or space cakes or even alcohol, yo! so happy that i can probably fly like a unicorn.

sadly, the journey ends.

soon.

3 more days, people. make 2009 count.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

take me to your mothership

one word: Avatar.

two words: visually stimulating.



two thumbs up.

one huge smile.

money well spent. rm7 for a 2 hour 43 minute movie.

http://static.reelmovienews.com/images/gallery/avatar-movie-poster.jpg

there were a few touching moments in the movie that tugged at my heart and i didn't expect that from a hollywood blockbuster of this proportion. i would have dropped a tear or two if it weren't for the 'loud' commentary i had. this native man sitting next to me made idiotic comments in some parts it RUINED the effect of the movie. idiot! for example, the part where the na'vi's were all praying for grace, native man had the decency to tell his partner that they can all join AKADEMI FANTASIA! serious WTF moment right there. i should have slapped that man senseless. and he kept complaining 'why is this movie so long?' in his native language. there were plenty of moments like these where he made idiotic comments throughout the movie. seriously, cinema etiquette please. do you need a fucking manual on how to behave when watching a movie?

even the bunch of 'kids' behind me made idiotic comments and laughing at the wrong parts! omg what is wrong with people these days?!! don't even know how to watch a movie in a public space. go buy the DVD and make stupid comments and laugh at the sad parts in your private space. don't rain on other people's parade.

ok, end of rant.

call it a skill but the whole movie had a 'predictable' ending that i sorta knew what was gonna happen when they showed vital parts of the film. i don't wanna mention it here in case some of you have not watched it but i think you too will know it when you see it. i don't think it's that hard to miss. or maybe it's a skill i picked up from my undergraduate years. movie watching never wast the same after all those classes.

the visuals was definitely awesome and i reckon it would have been mind-blowing on 3D. i mean i was already awed on the 2D version whatmore the 3D. the movie in a way does reflect what's going on now in our present reality; war, environment, love, politics, consumerism and all those big mumbo jumbo jargons.

the truth hurts so whatchu gonna do about it? go transform yourself into a na'vi and live in pandora that's what! humans are evil beings. truth hurts doesn't it?

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

sun and moon

the fan is spinning slowly to a stop. the ac is blowing cold air. the night is silent except for that weird noise i hear coming from somewhere in the house. the typing on the keyboard is giving out a soothing tap-tap-tap sound, one of comfort and truth, one of familiarity.

i just had a plate of roti canai with fish curry and a glass of teh o ais limau. i just read someone's blog. i just updated my twitter. i just checked the status updates on fb. i clicked on my inbox.

the night is still except for the whirring of the ac, projecting cold air, cooling the room and ultimately allowing me to sleep comfortably in the quiet night. there's no rain tonight. the shutters are down so i can't see if the stars are out tonight.

i sit by my bedside typing words, allowing my thoughts to flow into this page.

i bid you goodnight now. i have been early to bed since coming back from my trip but tonight, i am back to my old sleeping habits. i don't want that. i quite like waking up at 8 in the morning even though i laze till 9. it tells me that morning is here and it's a brand new day for me to be productive and proactive. at least that's what i aspire to achieve when the sun rises.

goodnight. goodmorning.

Friday, December 18, 2009

fish out of water

at least that's what it felt like for me when i was in taiwan. i was amongst my fellow kind and yet i couldn't understand them. for all i know, they could be speaking greek to me. it was tough to order a cup of pearl bubble milk tea/my ultimate fave by the way. i didn't know how to order it/damn shy. two words: tour guide. my 'hero'. had both of them translate so i knew what was what.

haiyo, damn effin' shy.

will take mandarin lessons, i swear!

my guide had this to say though, "go get yourself a mandarin speaking boyfriend then you can learn". +_______________+

fml.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

this love

packed and ready to go.

loads of bus rides to come. but oh wells, i ain't complaining.

the first of many planned trips...

Thursday, December 10, 2009

empire state of mind

the weather is killin' me. been having the urge to shower at least 5 times to day +___+ way to save the environment.

i did something out of character today. i offered to take my brother out cycling. i was trying to entertain him AND at the same time brush up on my cycling skillz, yo! and i am proud to say, i can turn and cycle at the same time/woots. don't laugh but before today all i could do was cycle in one direction. if i wanted to turn, i had to manually put my feet on the ground and make that turn. but not anymore/muahahaha.

but i shouldn't be rejoicing laa cos for all i know, i might forget how to turn and just resort to the old method/boo.

i need more practice that's for sure.

today's cycling adventure also brought me for the very first time to the little park in my neighbourhood/gasp, i know. now i know we have a swing and slide and a basketball half-court in my neighbourhood. after almost a year living here then i discover this piece of land. but ignorant i am no more.

i also watched the third mummy film, the one with michelle yeoh and jet li and wtf where is rachel wiez? hello?! nobody can replace rachel wiez. i'm sorry maria bello, that british accent you were trying to pull off/fail. and what's up with the son looking older than brendan fraser?! they just had to make the movie laa. nothing spectacular but then again, you people already know that, don't you?

i also caught running in heels on E! i love shows that are set in the magazine industry ie. ugly betty, running in heels and this other show on channel v called stylista i think/only caught one episode. these shows make me want to work there.

my other fave is giuliana&bill. i think they're the most hilarious couple on reality tv/too bad nick&jessica are no more, they were funny too. watching that show makes me want to have giuliana's job! call me shallow but i would like to work in the media industry that focuses on entertainment and maybe fashion. that much i know. now i gotta think of a way to get into that industry and think of where i wanna be.

i might also want to give advertising a shot.

see, dilemma dilemma. i know i'm still young. my options are still open but still, the pressure to take that first step is...wow. not easy. times like these you wish you're still in uni where all you have to think about is what units you want to take next semester.

but i'm done with that. the studying part. i'm ready for the next phase of life.

bulletproof

i dont need a man.

i want a man.

there's a difference between needs and wants as i've learned in marketing class. and i'm sure the dictionary will tell you the difference too. it's no mystery that all straight/emphasis on the straight now that the world we know has many a variety of sexual orientations\ would want a man. though i do know of some people who need a man.

i'll be honest, i think my perception of romance is really skewed and will probably be off tangent/i'm not really sure what this means but it sounds intelligent\ if measured on the graph. i read way too many chick lits and watch way too many romantic comedies. i sometimes wish my life was like the movies, with background music and hot leading man by my side but life is NOT like the movies, isnt it? cos if it were, we'd be in a perfect world. and the world is far from perfect. just read the newspaper.

everytime i watch a romcom or read a chick lit or anything that has romance in it, i wish i had that. that person to love and want to make things work for life with. yeah, i know there will be tough times and rough times thrown in for good dramatic effect cos gawd knows life is full of dramas but so be it. i wouldn't have it any other way. i remember reading that when couples argue, it shows that they care enough to want to fight about it, to fight for their love. i so agree with that. cos when you don't fight, that's when the loving stops. that's when you don't give a damn anymore to want to fight for it.

so i guess, fighting is good? haha. no, not really. i mean petty fights are just ridiculous. i know of couples who don't seem to have that spark anymore and yet are still in that relationship. but who am i to judge. a relationship involves two parties not three or four. outsiders can only guess and make assumptions about said relationships. if the two that are in it are fine with how things are, i guess we should just let them be. it's their happiness anyways. nothing to do with us. like my friend would say, "it won't affect my DNA"

true that.

i hate how people ask "how come you don't have a boyfriend?","are you picky/choosy?" . yeah, the million dollar question and the rhetorical question goes hand in hand. what answers are these people expecting me to give them? i eat boys for dessert and of cos i'm picky, you wouldn't eat a rotten apple, would you? and why shouldn't i be picky when i might eventually marry this man and wake up next to him every morning for the rest of my life.

life's tough questions answered. gimme my book deal and talk show already.

a conversation with a friend brought my attention to this;

guys are intimidated by our natural awesomeness or status which doesn't really matter when you're just getting to know someone but then again, we're living in the real world. you either have to be from an average-and-below income family or filthy-rich income family to score yourself a man. because those in the average-and-above seem to be having it tough/this is based on the statistics of people i know aka my acquaintances\ so don't quote me on this. the average-and-above are in limbo.

you have to drive a certain car and dress a certain way and speak and act a certain way for guys to be interested enough to initiate the chase/based on personal observation\

maybe it's best if the guy knew less about you which is probably why a mystery girl/guy is such a turn on. you know nuts about this person which makes the chase exciting. like cluedo, the whudunnit game. instead of a murder, it's a guessing game of is this my life partner?

don't you love board games? there's a game called the game of life where you build your career and family all with the roll of a dice and a spin of a wheel in a car you move along the board adding family members and accumulating wealth and health. if only life were that simple.

i know i claim to live the simple life but really, is there really simplicity in this mad and complicated world? i have tons of questions in my head, tons of options to choose from and huge life altering decision to make. does any of that sound simple?

all i'm asking for is someone to lean on, not rely on. is that so hard to ask?

Monday, December 07, 2009

all the right moves

WOOHOO. it is now OFFICIAL!

i can officially graduate. no more scares or second doubts/huge sigh of relief.

you have no idea how scared i was despite passing my exams, there was still a nagging feeling at the back of my mind. you see, MonU has this credit point system where you have to have a certain amount of first year units, second year units and third year units in order to graduate. huge hassle cause certain units are offered in second and third year units so you have to choose wisely which year you want to take that unit in.

so of course in my final year, i did the calculations and made sure i enrolled in the correct year. but somehow, i had this itch in the back of my mind telling me that i MIGHT have miscalculated and will not be able to graduate in time +____+ and to make matters worst, my course coordinator made a comment on my fb status which scared the living daylights out of me/not funny!

i did the calculations AGAIN in my head and was DAMN EFFING sure i calculated correctly.

LO AND BEHOLD, i DID do it correctly because i got the green light :DDD

so there you have it, you are now reading the blog of a Bachelor of Arts (Communication & Writing) graduate/not officially yet but still. hehe.

quite proud of myself really. i have to say that this is one of my greatest achievements in life. you have no idea how happy i was when i saw my results that told me i can graduate/before all the not-enough credit points drama. the happiness was just on a high that i couldn't control.

of course, life had to throw me a curveball and bring me the flu to add to the joy but i have been pumping in loads of vitamin C and h20.

i celebrated with a big juicy steak and margaritas!

life has been good. i'm still looking around, doing some soul searching but i know i'll be fine through God's grace cause i wouldn't be where i am right now if it weren't for Him :)

Friday, December 04, 2009

Thursday, December 03, 2009

no way.

craaaaap.

i feel the oncoming of a flu +_____________+

shit. faster drink loadsss of water.

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

vampires, werewolves and a swan.

dont judge me.

but i've watched new moon...twice!

zomg, the only other movie i watched twice in the cinema was white chicks. don't ask. oh waits. i watched it on dvd then i watched it in the cinema, so that doesnt count.

zomg, so for the first time in my life, i watched a movie twice in the cinema. same movie somemore!!! total fanatic :O

but i have a valid reason for watching the second time. some background story:

i introduced my mother to the twilight books. i think for the past week all she's done is plop herself on the couch and just read read read. she's in the last book by the way. she watched the first movie, read the second book and told me she wanted to watch the movie.

so as a loving and doting daughter, of course i'll take my mother out to the movies! she enjoyed it btw. and she's team edward haha. i know i've said on fb that i'm team jacob but that was the visuals talking. after reading the book (rereading eclipse btw) i'm totally, completely and commit-fully team edward :O how can i not be? jacob is fine and all but edward is...he sparkles man. nuff' said.

LOL.

ok that's not the reason la. but it's the way he loves her man. like epic love. fuyoh. things like these just dont happen in reality so must live vicariously through bella.




dont judge me. lemme tell you something, i'm a sucker for romance. there. the secret's out of the bag. but i dont read those harlequin romance or mills&boons romance. those kind i tak boleh tahan.


so if u ask me what i thought of new moon. i will say i preferred it when compared to twilight. guess you can see better effects and the colour is more vivid. the first movie seemed darker and moodier.


don't ask about the acting la cos this movie is not out to win an oscar anyways. i like the soundtrack though but somehow it gives off an indie-ish sorta vibe. i would think that more mainstream bands would be featured on the soundtrack. the only mainstream band is muse but that's cause stephanie meyer loves the band (don't ask me how i know such information).







yeah. so sue me la you twilight haters.