a spoonful of sugar can't make this bitterness go down.

i'm feeling a lil' bitter. nothing major. don't worry, the earth is still spinning and gravity is still intact.

but really. REALLY?!

i'm still feeling bitter. but hey, i'm moving on to better things. like my own travel show, yes lips? we can really really work on our NatLi video in june :D

i feel much better now.

i play it off but i'm dreamin' of you

i've got a song stuck in my head and no, it's not justin beiber's baby :p

i try by macy gray.

i tried to say goodbye and i choke,
tried to walk away and i stumble,
though i try to hide it,
it's clear,
my world crumbles when you are not there.

the chorus came to me this morning. in the car. as i was singing the chorus in my head, i got stuck at though i try to hide it, it's clear cause colbie caillat's the little things was playing on the radio. i had to put my hands over my ears to try and find the words to ms. gray's song and also tried to sing it out loud/whisper so my mum won't think i'm mad. but couldn't. ohmygawd do you know how frustrating it is to have the words at the tip of your tongue but because of the other song constantly penetrating my flow of thoughts i couldn't figure it out. till i stepped out of the car. then the words came right out of my mouth faster than you can say i try.

gotta say, i didn't like the song when it came out. but years and experience have changed my view. so the question is, where is macy gray at now? she's been missing from the biznez.

she's my winona

remember as a child, you would dream of that barbie dream house that your parents just refuse to get for you? you would go to bed dreaming about it and then you would wake up all excited and run down stairs like it's christmas morning and santa has just brought in the mother load. you have a big wide smile plastered on your 5 year old face and you will quietly and quickly descend the stairs in your pyjamas, only to find reality slapping you in the face. oh fudge, it was only a dream. and then you go up to your room feeling dejected and maybe slightly embarrassed but thankfully no one was awake to witness it.

yeah. childhood. how i miss thee so.

many times as i grow older, i dream dreams. dreams that make my heart aflutter. dreams that make my heart pound. dreams that make my heart cry. not cause it was a bad dream but cause i had to wake up from it. i could never dream the same dream again. it only happens once and then poof, it's gone. stored temporarily in my memory bank only to find itself slowly seeping away, fading into an abyss. but then somedays, the dreams just come back and hit me, unconsciously and then i try as hard as i can to remember details about the dream. but with each try to fill in the blanks, i change the dream and then i end up creating something new out of the old, eliminating whatever memory i had about the old dream.

i gasp for air. my grip loosening. images fading.

if only we can burn dreams into a dvd and watch it whenever we want. how did stephenie meyer do it?! (she dreamt of that scene in the meadow and look at where that has her led to now, robert pattinson and taylor lautner; shirtless). not that i want to write a book from my dream although sometimes when i take a nap, it feels like i've just watched a james bond movie! i kid not. i've dreamt of car chases and kidnapped plots in my nap times +__+ i could make a predictable action flick from it wtf.

there are some dreams where i just want to keep but memory just won't allow it.

screen fades to black. the curtains call.

shhushhh.

i have an unhealthy obsession with cheryl cole. probably from reading about her up-to-no-good husband who surprise surprise, went sleeping around. is this what it has come to? men sleeping around. married men, at that! has it become the norm? from the constant spotlight of such infidelities in the media, i think it has slowly become an acceptable and dare i say it, expected act to happen.

x marries y. give it a few months, x will appear in the papers for sleeping with z. x and y work it out. suddenly a whole list of names start popping out like unpop-ed popcorns!

i don't have to mention names. you all read about it in the media. it happens to the best of men. and women. you would think that having everything and i mean everything what with the vast amount of money that rolls in that they would be happy and contented with life. but they prove us wrong. so i guess it's true then, money can't buy happiness. sex can. are we screwed up or are we screwed up? the poor are still poor and the rich are getting richer but they don't just want the fame and glory. they want to be shamed and embarrass themselves and their families as well. who do we blame for these heinous acts of infidelities? the married man? the seductress? the wife who got cheated on? the poor, innocent, misinformed vixen who got tricked into the affair? the young and naive underaged girl who can't tell right from wrong? fingers get pointed. cameras are aimed and focused. people play the blame game. people play the hate game. then it dies down. we learn to forget and begin to welcome these individuals back again. the past lies where its supposed to be.

which is why it's slowly becoming acceptable. people need to talk. people need to be talked about. people love reading about it. aren't we all to blame? nobody can tell when acts of infidelities happen. they just do. in the heat of the moment, men forget about the vows they made. seductresses feel empowered and in control. passion. lust. human nature. we want what we can't have. and we do get it, we keep it a secret. not because we want to but because we know it's wrong. wrong things are meant to be kept secret. not the good ones. engagements are not meant to be kept secret. pregnancies are not meant to be kept secret but they do. unapproved love leads to secret engagements. unwanted pregnancies leads to secret pregnancies. we keep secrets because they're detrimental. to the keeper of the secret. to the person who's not meant to know about the secret. and yet therein lies the excitement. suddenly life seems to have an extra burst of colour. there's an added spice to life.

but then there are some secrets that can't be kept. like how you know someone should not be in a toxic relationship but they just won't listen to anyone despite how everyone is telling them that it's wrong. what do you do? let them continue on in that relationship until it's too late. what do you do? sit in the sidelines and watch? fear the loss of friendship? fight for it till the person sees the truth? the secrets out of the bag. then what?

and then there are secrets that are good. great. inspiring even. secret surprise birthday parties. secret admirers which can be seen as creepy on the other hand but i'm not talking about that.

where was i? oh yes. cheryl cole. don't know much about her. just that some of her songs are growing on me. and i just love them british accents!

fight for this love is on a loop on radios. quite ironic really. she sings about it and yet look what's happening. divorce in the works. splitting of assets. a very sorry husband who's apologetic about his cheating but not fighting for this love. marriage isn't sacred anymore. it can come as easily as it goes. a trend that will never grow old.

but they'll bounce back and rule a small piece of the world. and life goes on. we move on from the pain. the embarrassment. and we rock the next thing that comes into our life.

secrets are revealed and new ones are kept but we continue rocking on, with spotlights and adoring fans.

'muchness' very much there

i don't know why people are dissing the movie alice in wonderland >:(

i absolutely adore it! i'm guessing the visual orgasm people got from avatar brought the damper on alice's visuals, well boo to you. avatar was made to be visually orgasmic. alice on the other was made to tickle your funnybone/senses/tastebuds and all that is able to be tickled wtf. it was quirky and i loved it.

so much so that it's my mozilla persona! you can get them here.

best thing i discovered ;) now my mozilla header/whatever you call it don't look so dull and generic.

we grew up too fast, too soon

it started out like any other sundays. except today, i woke up super duper late +__+ but managed to get ready in time :D i is superwoman.

i ate breakfast and came home. read the papers, i love the sunday edition. so many pages! except for the newest addition. it's an english paper for goodness sake. it should remain that. if i wanted something else, i would have gotten something else.

got the call to go for lunch and my adventures began wtf. it was a productive day cos i bought 2 books and got a truckload of disney classics :) honestly, we actually wanted the disney cartoon version of alice in wonderland cos we watched it so long ago that we only have bits and pieces of it stored in our very limited brain capacity. but they didn't have it and we are damn upset but we shall persevere and continue looking for it! RAH RAH RAH \0/

so we ended up with the other princesses. just as well. we're trying to get back in touch with our childhood past times. which reminds me of the wongfu productions weekend episode! check it outs



haiyoo so kiut la.

it's not hogwarts but it's all gooood...

the golden man

did you guys catch the oscars on tv? i did. it's been awhile since i last watched an awards show. i used to follow ALL of it. the grammy's, the golden globes, mtv video awards etc. then i just stopped. today however, i watched the oscars. i didn't plan on it but i was channel surfing and bing bam boom, i was just in time to catch the red carpet. and another bing bam boom, it was the awards show itself.

and boyy did the stars all look glam-ed up!











but i really liked the part for when they were talking about the nominees for the best actor and actress, where their fellow co-workers? peers? give intimate glimpses into the person behind the characters. i thought it was really sweet and has a nice personalized touch to the whole drama rama that awards seasons brings. and i believe it's also nice to hear your peers acknowledging your work and you, as a human being, character and all.

i haven't watched any of the nominated films except for Up! and avatar. i really want to watch inglourious basterds, blind side, up in the air and the hurt locker. the hurt locker because well, i just got my hands on it and just to see what the fuss it's about. blind side cause it's sandra bullock's award winning role, yo! she should have won for her role in the proposal. that was some funneh shyt.



it was great to watch kathryn bigelow win best director. first ever female director to win. that's the shizznit! inspiring stuff. beating her ex-husband, james cameron too! the dude who created his own frickin' world and language and just upped the level of movie-making. inspirational indeed. makes me want to direct my own movie.

undisclosed desires

le sigh, i just remembered about a pair of shoes i tried on today. so pretty but so expensive. rm389 +____+

i love pretty shoes but then i always end up prioritizing comfort over style. blisters are my number one nemesis when it comes to pretty shoes. so i always end up wearing flats. all the time. but i'm trying to wear my heels more often. break into them so i don't end up hurting. otherwise they'll just sit in the closet and become a white elephant that i only imagine wearing.

show me what i'm looking for.

i saw an ad for a marriage partner in the papers today. phone number and email provided. wow, lonely woman looking for a partner and she had to resort to a classified sections in the papers. and hers was the only one today.

where are all the men at?! i thought women were irresistible and if anyone should be having problems, it'll be the men. but the world doesn't work that way. unfortunately. even carrie tried it once. not advertising in the papers of course. but she tried sleeping around the way men did. and somehow or rather, it just doesn't work for women. we put emotions in. and how can we not? we live our lives based on our emotions; happiness, anger, sadness, joy, sorrow, excitement, pain. so how do the men do it? play around with emotions and then get away with it without feeling anything? do they hide it in a box and then bury it deep down in a dark untouched corner? or it's just in their DNA. to not feel.

but then, you'll get men who just feels too much and their emotions just run loose that it dominates their entire being. they cry and whine and write poetry. and then somehow, it's the women that get blamed for the downfall of men. i would love to meet the women who have done such horrendous-ness to men and just ask them, do you hide your emotions in a box and bury it in a deep, dark hole? or is it year and years of taking no-nonsense and then playing the game the way it was meant to be played all along? or maybe, they finally know the rules of the game and it's the single ladies out there who are in the loss now.

the dating game is like the survival of the fittest. if you ain't got game, don't play it. don't even scratch the surface. then how? just wait and maybe in this lifetime never find that one true love because you never played the game. and at the end of the day, place an ad in the classifieds sections and just settle on the guy that calls and comes forward with a marriage proposal, with you telling yourself you'll eventually fall in love with the man who saved you from a lonely miserable life. time can heal and so time can also teach.

i hope it doesn't end up like this for all single women out there. ever notice all relationship books are aimed at women and not at men. WHY?! is it because men know the rules of the game? were they the ones that invented the effin' game?!

there's a case going on about a man suing- or whatever the legal terms are- a man for trying to entice his wife into having an extramarital affair. the ironic thing is, after going through all that legality, he is now divorcing his wife. and yet the case i think is still on-going. sigh, so people don't just get married and divorce anymore.

some people can go on dating all their life and never settle. and some, start dating at such a young age that you begin to wonder, did they not go through the phase of life where you hated the opposite sex? i knew i did (but i don't anymore, just so we're clear)

sigh, what i'm trying to say is, when will the right one come along? do we have to place an ad in the papers to get what we're looking for or do we just wait till the right one comes along and if he doesn't show, too bad. live and let live.

heartbreak isn't the only hardest thing people go through in relationships, broken ones i mean. beginning one is equally, if not doubly hard! and in order to begin one, we gotta find one who's interested to start one! sigh. if only parents match-made kids before they were even born. life's questions solved.

but God will provide. He always does. we may not see it now but when he does, we'll understand.

like clockwork, the hands move.

i got slightly lost after making a wrong turn but i knew my way around man. instincts. kinda figured my way around. all those years in the passenger seat and it was put to good use.

tried getting to amcorp mall cause i wanted to check out the moving-out sale at bookXcess. first of all, who goes to amcorp mall and why? car park was filled and i see people moving in and out of the area but really, what do they do there?! to shop?! shop for what?! eat?! eat what?! mcdonalds?! starbucks?! there was a "flea market"/"bazaar" whatever fancy term they're calling it these days but the things on sale were nothing to shout about. i knew what i was there for. to buy cheap books. but that was it. otherwise, i wouldn't say in a conversation with my friends "hey, let's go to amcorp mall!" okay enough of mall bashing wtf.

my life is now complete. i have the full set of meg cabot princess diaries series except for the first book cause i watched the movie and thought to myself "heh, i'll just get the second book". and thus began my love relationship with meg cabot and her words. the latest and final princess diaries book costs a bomb in regular bookstores. i think it was rm49.90 +_____+ rip-off! but i got it for rm17.90 \0/ victory dance. i could probably get it for rm5 in the next warehouse sale they have but i couldn't wait. plus it was the last book on the shelf. i had to get it before the girl sitting on the stool tries to snatch it away from me.

<3

ohh, she might be sitting on the stool reading some kiddy book but i know what you're thinking! i grabbed the book and held it tight as i browsed the book shelves for other treasures.

sigh, the moving-out sale was only applicable to certain books. none that i was interested in. but the regular priced books were a pretty good deal too. i could buy 2 books for the price of one in regular bookstores. i managed to get 2 meg cabot books. my life is complete :D rm17.90 for a book i would normally have to pay rm35.90 is a damn good deal if you ask me. the warehouse sale is even better. i bought the princess diaries series for only rm5 each! and one of it was a hardcover which was selling for rm17.90 in the store today. nyehehe. i'm a sucker for good deals. there's a writer in the star who writes on fashion every (not every but almost) sunday and she says to "never pay retail" hell yeah!

unfortunately i didn't do my research before going and left out one other book i wanted to get. i only knew the title and not the author's name. go me!

this was the book i wanted. le sigh. i'll go back to amcorp mall one of these days which reminds me of their totally absolutely flawed parking system. one entry point. two exit points. one of the exit points totally blocks the flow of traffic/fist in air. one that causes a major traffic standstill, i'm sure at the back of the line. but i don't go there often so i'm not too worked up about it.

i'm trying my best-est not to read alice in wonderland not alice in THE wonderland reviews. somehow or rather, critics and their reviews make or break the movie for me. i know it but then i can't help myself and i read them. which then influences the way i watch the movie. i need more self-control. so here i am exercising that control. i shall refuse to read reviews from now onwards. i did read the review for up in the air and it was highly recommended! so i'm definitely gonna try and get my hands on that. aiyoo, i can't live with them and i can't live without them. the reviews, i mean. i'm pretty fickle-minded, eh?


wey hey, it's the month of march now which means that the birthdays are now coming in like a snowball rolling down the slope/hill at speeds faster than the speed of sound.

soul sister

- i like watching hbo in HD

- i'm reading the lovely bones

- i find out i have the dvd too//double happiness. i can read the book and watch the movie and then compare the two. i'll dissect the book and the movie and then make comparisons and then demand for my money back.

- i'm gonna bake a cake from scratch.

- i just read finish a chick lit. oh meg cabot please write another book.

- i have once again emailed the same company. but for a completely different position.

- graduation next week :) FINALLY. i'm starting to think that the past 3 years of my life is going by unacknowledged.

- i need to get 2010 diary refills. my current diary is stuck in 2008 +____+ authorship, pr, post-col due dates scribbled all over.

- i have tonnes of errands to do tomorrow/in the morning actually seeing as how it is morning now.

- american idol is really just one big karaoke contest.

- didn't want to miss extreme on discovery travel and living cause i missed the first ep last week and i was hoping to catch the episode where they showed extreme rollercoasters. well, i caught the show alright. extreme trucks this week. i love the american trucks! they are just effin' gorgeous and huge and just awesomely cool unlike our lorries which can turn turtle when the wind blows.

i'm behind the camera, in case you were squinting your eyes.

i am in awe of their trucks. with trucks looking like this, i would become a truck driver. check out extremes.

- sex and the city is my new found joy.

there, my life in dashes.